Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Just the small things

Today is my first day. Yes, I am a newbie. So, let's take it easy, and relax, and read.

I am Novy. I am currently 27 years old, and the mother of a wonderful 6 year old boy. Being a mom is great, although it is the hardest thing I will ever do in life. To quote Destiny's Child, "I'm a survivor". I am. I make do with what I have, and live a decent life. Am I saying things never get tough and that life is like a fairytale with a "THE END" waiting for me every day ? HELL NO, there is a "to be continued..." every night, and we start up again in the morning ! I am fortunate to have a job I enjoy getting up and going to everyday. It's corporate America, and I like it.

More about me ... I am a rather boring person, generally speaking, but when people get to know me, WHAM! I can be crazy and carefree or I can be responsible and mature. Is it wrong to still love to go out and get crazy at a bar at my age ? Could that be why I haven't met the right man and married and produced more children ? Anybody want to tell me what they think I am doing wrong ... I am open to any suggestions you may have ;)

At one point I thought I had met "Mr. Right", but boy did he make me feel like a fool. I thought he was different. MR is older than I am, by 13 years, which is/was not a problem for me. MR had his own problems, he was divorced, depressed, apparently he had a death wish, which I didn't know about until years later. MR sought counseling, and I was still there for him. Lot of good that did me, however he did thank me ... had I not been there for him all those years (4 by the way) he doesn't think he would still be here. Well, it makes me wonder, what did I do wrong ? Did I love to much ? Care to much ? So we just talk when he feels like it. He will call and say "I love you, I will call you tomorrow", and then he never does ... months will go by ... Is it the depression that makes him not call back ? Is it that I remind him of all that he suffered through ? He is doing ok now ... but being that yesterday was Valentine's Day, it really got me thinking about him, because unfortunately I love him.

Well, thanks for letting me spill that onto my, and possibly your, computer monitor. It has made me feel better ... and that is all I can ask for.

I hate Valentine's Day !

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